Beyond the Stigma: Why Men Struggle to Talk About Mental Health (And How We Can Change It)
- Darren Jones
- Jun 2
- 4 min read
Close your eyes, and imagine the most stressful week of your life.
Think about the catalyst. What caused the stress? How far were you pushed, was it beyond your limits? What did you do about it? What was your immediate response or first thoughts?
For many men, we can agree on the common thread that emerged: the stressed stems from a combination of unrealistic expectations, followed by the pervasive societal expectation to either "man up" or "boys don't cry," ending with the paralyzing fear of vulnerability showing up as weakness or incompetency. For us minority men, these challenges are added by an additional layer of stress, dealing with insidious impact of racist comments, stereotypes, and systemic biases that constantly challenge their identity and sense of self belonging. We are tired between expecting to be strong and resilient, while enduring prejudiced assumptions, creating a unique and isolating lifestyle.
This burden impacts single men or men in unfulfilling relationships, where the thought of a "supportive partner" is a mere fantasy, similar to the 80's and 90's love R&B songs. When empathy is absent from those closest to you, the natural inclination is to retreat, bottle up emotions, and to silently hold onto mounting frustrations.
This month, I want to encourage my fellow brothers to pause and ask ourselves: "Why are we silencing our struggle?"
The statistics paint a stark picture of the consequences.
Nearly one in five men live with some type of mental health condition, with 6 million American men suffering from depression each year. Men are 2.3 times more likely to develop substance use disorder as a result of the underlying mental health issues that we fail to acknowledge. In fact, only 40% of men with reported mental illness receive care, which fails to acknowledge the percentage of men without a reported mental illness who are not diagnosed or receiving care.
The tragic culmination of this silence is reflected in suicide rates:
Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women.
Men account for nearly 75% of all suicides in the U.S.
Furthermore, men often employ more lethal and extreme methods when attempting suicide, increasing the likelihood of a fatal outcome.
This, needs to end. As men, we need to restructure our thought process and identify what makes it hard to talk about mental health.
Breaking Down the Numbers Further (U.S. Data):
While overall rates are high, suicide statistics also reveal specific vulnerabilities across different male demographics:
Race and Ethnicity:
White men consistently have the highest suicide rates, particularly middle-aged and older white men. In 2022, the suicide rate for White males was approximately 27.6 per 100,000.
Suicide rates for American Indian/Alaska Native men are also disproportionately high, often exceeding the national average, with rates around 33.6 per 100,000 in 2022.
For Black/African American men, while overall rates are lower than white men, they have seen a significant increase in recent years, particularly among younger individuals. The rate in 2022 was approximately 13.4 per 100,000.
Hispanic/Latino men also face unique stressors, and their suicide rates are around 10.6 per 100,000 in 2022, though cultural factors can influence reporting and help-seeking.
Asian American men generally have lower suicide rates compared to the national average, but certain subgroups or age groups within the Asian community may experience elevated risks. The rate in 2022 was about 7.4 per 100,000.
Age: While suicide is a concern across all age groups, men aged 45-64 years generally have the highest suicide rates, followed by those 75 and older. However, there's a growing concern for younger men, with suicide being a leading cause of death for males aged 10-34.
Veterans: Male veterans are at a significantly higher risk of suicide compared to the general male population, with statistics often showing veteran suicide rates to be 1.5 to 2 times higher.
This alarming data underscores a critical reality: the current approach isn't working. This silence, this suffering, needs to end. As men, we must actively work to restructure our thought processes and honestly identify the profound reasons that make it so difficult for us to talk about our mental health. It's time to dismantle the outdated scripts and build a culture where seeking support is recognized as a sign of true strength.
This July, it's time to break free from the silence and transform the way we approach men's mental health. We're excited to announce the launch of our new Men's Fellowship program, a dedicated space where brothers can come together, share their experiences, and find strength in unity. This isn't just another discussion group; it's a supportive community designed to help you navigate life's challenges, challenge outdated stereotypes, and cultivate genuine emotional resilience. If you're ready to explore what true strength looks like, build deeper connections, and equip yourself with tools to thrive, then our Men's Fellowship is for you. Dive into the details and sign up today – your journey to greater well-being starts here.
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